“This week, consider the walls you’ve erected and decorated, the halls you walk down each day, or the exteriors you’ve ignored or neglected. What do these walls reveal about a place, people, or you?”
My daughter just turned six. She’s also had a recent growth spurt, bringing the top of her head to my chest now – something she just noticed and is thrilled about. Anything that indicates in the smallest degree that she’s “a big kid” is majorly awesome in her world.
On the flipside, anything that makes her appear “little” bothers her a lot. Like, for example, the other day she was sitting on the floor, using a little footstool for a table, and eating a bowl of cereal while watching cartoons. She got kind of into the show at one point and totally missed her mouth, spilling cereal all down the front of her. She was mortified. She cried! And not because anybody was laughing at her (her big brother’s reaction was to jump up to get a towel to help her wipe up) or because anybody was annoyed (I wasn’t at all). It was because what she did made her look inept – and that’s not how “big kids” are supposed to be.
She puts so much pressure on herself these days!
I took the picture above while walking with her yesterday. There were geese swimming in the water down below, and she wanted to see them.
Realizing she could see over the stone wall by herself now (if she got on her tip-toes), that she’s actually tall enough now (which she was not the last time we walked this way, last Fall), was a big moment for her. She was so proud to tell me that she didn’t need help to see, that she could do it all by herself.
I’ve been working really hard lately, trying to advance a few of my ideas freelance-wise and just generally career-wise. It’s not just that I need to be making more money (though that’s certainly true.) It’s that I want so much to accomplish things. It’s not enough anymore to identify goals and dreams and embrace them. I want to bring them to fruition now – or at least make some solid strides forward in that area.
Maybe because I’m working now on things I really, really care about, my ambition is just growing and growing. I go from excited and exhilarated to frustrated and anxious and then back again with amazing speed these days.
It occurred to me as I watched my daughter yesterday (up on her tiptoes, watching the geese), that I put a lot of pressure on myself too – just like she does. And it’s totally because I want to be my own equivalent of “a big kid” – meaning somebody accomplished, somebody who does things, somebody who doesn’t bumble around missing my mouth with my cereal.
I really wasn’t expecting any kind of personal insight to come my way when we stopped at this wall yesterday to look at the geese…but that’s what I got!
(And this was a strangely perfect photo challenge for me this week!)