I was straightening up today and came upon some yarn I’d given my daughter for some game she was playing. It was red yarn, a string of it.
And it got me thinking again about something I read a week or two ago, via WordPress’s Daily Post:
“The “red string” is an ancient belief that certain people are destined to meet throughout their lives and those people are connected by an invisible red thread.”
~WordPress’s Erica (I don’t see her last name anyplace!!)
“The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.”
I’ve been thinking about that on-and-off since I read about it.
I don’t actually believe in the concept of “the one” or “soulmates” or anything like that. It’s a very romantic and dramatic idea, certainly – and, in the proper mood, there’s an appeal in that. But I just don’t necessarily think there’s one person in all of the world destined to be your perfect match. I’m not even certain I want to believe in that. There are so many chances to miss the person! That’s so much pressure! And what if you find them and then they die – and you’ve lost your one person? Tragedy doesn’t appeal to me -even romantic, dramatic tragedy.
I guess I just don’t care for the idea that so much of my chance at happiness could come down to finding one person – and that I’ll always be “half” until I find that other half. Maybe I’m just too independent for that to appeal to me.
I think, if anything, there are multiple people who could match you well – and it’s kind of just chance as to which one (if any) you’ll meet first, and in what circumstances. (Because just crossing paths is challenging in itself; actually being awake enough or just simply in the right headspace to see clearly and not miss the person as they cross your path is a whole other problematic issue.)
I’ll admit though that I do find myself a little bit intrigued by the idea that there could be people in the world “destined” to be significant to me in some fashion – as romantic lovers maybe…but also as teachers or friends or whatever. (The variety appeals to me.)
And that I could be connected to these people by an invisible cord (or red thread!) is interesting – so that I will find them (or they’ll find me) and I can’t mess up and miss them (because we’re tied together by this unbreakable string.) Maybe in what manner I’m destined to connect with them might vary – but connect I will, in some fashion. And my life will grow and be enriched because of it.
I kind of like that. I think it’s exciting!
Maybe I feel the way I do because of where my life is right now.
Not that I’d pooh-pooh a chance for some kind of soulmate-ish romantic connection. I mean, that would be stupid, wouldn’t it?? To turn away from that idea blindly. I try not to do anything blindly anymore. I try consciously to keep all of my doors open and operate from the gut, without preconceived ideas. But the truth is, romance is only one area of my life that feels like it could benefit from some sort of soul connection.
For example: the idea of surrounding myself with people I could look up to and listen to and learn from – mentors and teachers, I guess – hugely appeals to me.
Actually, if I could choose between a romantic connection – even a really, really deep one – and, say, a chance to spend deep time with a group of people I admire and could learn from, just soaking up their ideas and insights and advice, I would 100% choose the group. (Well…maybe 99%. As I said, I really try hard these days not to assume I know how I’ll act in a certain situation. But I THINK I’d choose the group.) I’m very, very drawn anymore to people who open up my mind and inspire me. That vitality and energy and invigoration that comes from the free flow of creativity and possibility – I’m like a magnet to that.
And then there’s also the idea of people coming into my life who I could open up my head and insides to freely. I don’t honestly have many people like that. A “tribe,” so to speak. I’m pretty much on my own.
Most of the time that’s okay – but it can (I’ll admit it) be lonely. (Sometimes very much so.) Things-romantic can fill that sort of hole, I suppose (the right relationship.) But platonic, “tribe”-ish friendship could do it too.
As Erica from WordPress puts it:
“With some people, words just flow when you meet; it’s as if you’re picking up an ancient conversation that you’d forgotten about from centuries ago.”
That’s the kind of friendship I largely lack – and I can actually count on one hand the number of connections I’ve made like that in my life.
Maybe that’s why, when my life imploded a few years ago, almost all of my supposed friendships drifted away (or just evaporated.) It’s because they weren’t solid friendships to begin with. They were fairweather friendships…or convenience friendships…or situational friendships. They weren’t soul connections.
It would be kind of incredible to make more soul connection friendships.
You can’t plan that sort of thing, of course – not any more than you can plan to make a romantic soul connection (or to find a group of mentors who will inspire you to grow from the deep places out, for that matter.)
Maybe it’s because I can’t make these things come into my life that the idea that there could be people are out there, connected to me via some unbreakable red thread has the appeal that it does. We might not have found each other yet – but we will. We’re tied together by the ankles, so it has to happen sometime!
That’s a good reason to stay optimistic and open to possibilities.
It’s been interesting: Over the last few years, as I’ve reoriented my life and embraced (at long last) the ways in which I want to shape it, I’ve become more and more aware of the pulses of things. I used to be aware in that way – in those things that operate below the surfaces – when I was a kid. But somewhere around junior high, I started tamping the knowledge down. And it was to my detriment. That’s screamingly clear, in hindsight.
Because life will guide you – if you let it. Your personal road-signs and lantern lights are there – if you’re open enough to notice and acknowledge them. It’s really kind of magical.
And so no – I don’t really believe in predestined things. I certainly don’t believe in one pre-ordained soulmate.
But I do feel a little bit drawn to this idea of a red string. Maybe not for romantic love alone – but for making connections. I guess I find it conceivable that certain energies could possibly attract each other over time and space. I know that’s not wholly logical…but I find myself regardless unwilling to toss the idea aside.
I guess I just ride a strange fence when it comes to this sort of thing. Because my brain tends to pivot to the logical when I really think such things through. But yet…there’s something in my gut that holds open a door that isn’t logical at all. And this door, its existence, makes me incredibly happy! It makes me feel enriched in a way I can’t explain. It’s the same part of me that dreams of white wolves and bold colors – and can’t deny the “more” in those dreams.
And, strangely, it’s also the part of me that loves photography.
Art and ideas and creativity and imagination and beauty and possibility – all of those things are connected, in a strange way, with those “magic” things. They all have their roots in the same place. They are all accessed by stepping through that door I was talking about – the illogical one. If I slammed it shut (shut out the idea of “magic”), I think I’d lose my connection to creativity and possibility and all the rest.
I definitely think that if I squashed the idea of the red thread or the white wolf (things of that nature) I wouldn’t take the same photographs. I’m certain of that actually – as I turn the idea over in my head here. I wouldn’t be able to – because my world would be narrower and less beautiful. I wouldn’t see the same way.
I’ve never made that exact connection before.
None of this is to say that I’m designing my life around the “magic-leaning” parts of myself. But the thing is: I went for a lot of years tamping them down – because I thought that’s what I ought to do. And that hurt me. When I stopped tamping them down and allowed them to flow, everything in my life expanded and amplified.
I think it comes down to the fact that when you close your eyes to the possibility of beauty and magic, when you decide to just “make do” in your life, or to “grow up” and out of imagination – your life begins to get very, very narrow and very, very drab.
And how can you create anything real from such a narrow, drab place? I’m talking about art – but also life.
I think maybe the time has come for me to embrace – fully now – my attraction to wolf spirit guides and red string connections and things of that nature. If I come across a little new-age-y or spacey to some people as a consequence – well, I guess I can live with that!
It’s a small price to pay for a bigger, bolder, more beautiful (and magical) life, I think.